gigantic cock-a-roach

Man, it's been a good month for science. First they find a new monkey in India, and now--among a great many other things, including a pure-white millipede nearly three inches long--researchers in Borneo's East Kalimantan have found what they think may be the world's largest cockroach. At 10 cm (about four inches) long, the new bug beats out the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach, which runs to 2-3 inches long and an inch wide.

I admit I have a soft spot for the Madagascar Hissing Cockroach (Gromphadorhina portentosa, isn't that great?), although I certainly didn't try to bring any back with me in '99. "Hissers" are interesting. They're supposed to make good pets--as one site explains, they're superior to other roaches in this regard because they are "wingless, sanitary, odorless, clean, and slow", all fine traits in an animal companion, unless you want it to run alongside when you bike or jog. Or if you're attached to fur. Or faces. Anyway. You only need to feed hissers every other day--ground up dog chow and some veggie scraps--and leave them a damp sponge for water. If they get mites, you shake your roaches in a bag with some flour, an image I find highly amusing, although I would have to remember not to then fry the poor things in butter.

If you're curious but not ready to make a two- to five-year commitment, you can try out hisser husbandry by renting a roach.

And if you'd sooner eat insects than rent them, here are some tasty recipes. Pound for pound, insects don't provide as much protein as beef or fish, but they're a much better source of iron.

Cock-a-roach is my mother's pronunciation. For a lot of years, I thought it was the correct one. Until I learned to spell the word, and couldn't find that extra "a". I'm sure we all have a word or two like that, right? You're saying it wrong, but you're so cute nobody corrects you. Like a friend who just told me that she thought another word for the private parts was "gentiles", until her mother, laughing, straightened her out.